Crash Site

Welcome to my Now Page, my thoughts and what I’ve been up to lately. Loosely inspired by my friend Jack Grimes’ format. You’re reading the 11/26/24 version of this page; when it’s gone, it’s probably gone.

Making

Whooooops I forgot to update this page for like 2 months! I have like 4 different drafts that I got halfway through and then never actually finished or put up here. So I’m doing that now, fuck it I really just want to get something done.

I booted up FL Studio and screwed around making some liquid DnB the other day. Feels nice to actually do something musical after not having done anything for a while. FL Studio is still a really dense software and I’ve gotta figure out a good workflow, but it feels actually doable now instead of just “agggghhh what the fuck am I doing I’m just gonna go back to playing video games”. Thanks, ADHD meds! Also, I accidentally found out how to play the Undertale opening cutscene leitmotif, then I figured out how to play the melody of Moonlight Densetsu. My brain works in some weird ways, man.

Doing

Wooo I had to drop a class! Not woooo actually, but I think I’ll get a better professor for this class next semester, so it’s probably OK. I’ve just been plugging along on the rest of my classes. Actually doing my work feels kinda good now, like it’s still a pain in the ass but it’s satisfying when it finally clicks and I realize what to do. Actually getting started on stuff is hard, but once I get started it’s… well, not easy, but doable.

Actually going to see a show for once! It was my sister’s birthday and I got us tickets to that Machine Girl show in a few weeks. Weirdly enough, tickets for the Chicago date were close to face value while tickets to the Madison show were sold out and going for 100+ bucks when they were originally 40ish after fees and everything. Maybe it was because MG is playing two nights in Chicago? Either way, fuck Ticketmaster. Any hope of them getting broken up has gone out the window though, because, well, y’know.

Thinking

Haven’t thought about it in years, but I miss my Pebble. I’m trying to be more intentional about picking up my phone, because again, well, y’know, and in retrospect it would be the perfect smartwatch for that. It occupied that niche of just connected enough that you could get the important notifications, texts and such, but had just enough friction that you’re not diving too deep into it or constantly getting bombarded with stuff that just tries to draw you further and further into your phone.

I don’t really want to be one of those pretentious “EDC Gentleman” guys, wearing fancy watches and writing in notebooks with fountain pens, but there is something to be said about adding a little friction to a process. For me at least, it gets me to think a bit about what I’m actually doing. It’s gotta be innate, though. Clicking a pen, opening up my notebook, writing down my schedule, and checking off a homework assignment feels much better than something like one of those stop-and-think blocker apps, which just feel condescending after a while.

Listening

MG Ultra fucking RULES. God this album goes so hard. I’ve gotta give it a second listen, but I think it’s their best work yet. It’s got the gritty, insane, chaotic sound of Because I’m Young, but they keep the satisfying songwriting of Neon White and RePorpoised Phantasies. Hell, Sean Kelly said in their Bandcamp Daily interview that’s the whole point of Machine Girl, bridging the gap between crazy-ass aggression and super pretty melodies in a way that sounds like it shouldn’t work but hits really hard.

Not so much what I’m listening to as much as how I’m listening to it, but I’ve switched to Tidal for my streaming service. Most of the time, what should be theoretically higher quality audio isn’t actually audible, but I was sold when I loaded up Divinity by Porter Robinson and it sounded so much more, pardon the very audiophile-y descriptor, expansive. There’s still a practical audio quality limit, I tend to listen to most music over my Airpod Pros, but it does generally sound so much better. Plus Tidal isn’t doing the really annoying shit with AI generated playlists, making everything into a “For You” playlist, audiobooks, pivoting to video, et cetera. Obviously the best way to support musicians is Bandcamp, but as far as I can tell Tidal actually kinda gives a shit about musicians, so it feels like the best out of all the streaming services.

Playing

I have two sides: Webfishing and Disco Elysium. Webfishing is a fun, cute little game! It must be what an Animal Crossing villager’s daily life is like. Even though it’s just a chatroom with fishing, it’s some of the most fun I’ve had online lately. It’s like shooting the shit with people on a Gmod TTT server, but without the 12-year-olds who think racial slurs are the peak of comedy.

I’m loving Disco Elysium so far too. Writing-wise it’s just as fantastic as I’ve heard, and it excellently blends the pathetic loserman detective intrigue with all-timer bits like “Dios mio! *sign of the cross* A LIBERAL!”. Investigating the motor carriage crash, I really felt it when Kim said “I’m sorry.” When you can make a line in a video game feel just as sincere and world-shattering as if it were a real conversation, you’ve done some damn good work. ZA/UM really took advantage of the whole “player avatar has amnesia” plot device to write some of the coolest worldbuilding I’ve seen in a while; everything feels just similar enough that it highlights how the world is different from ours, but it’s far from straight-up alt history.