Welcome to my Now Page, my thoughts and what I’ve been up to lately. Loosely inspired by my friend Jack Grimes’ format. You’re reading the 12/14/2025 version of this page. When it’s gone, it’s gone.

Doing

Well, shit, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve updated this, huh? For anyone I haven’t kept up with much, in the last 8 months I’ve escaped Calculus Hell, moved out of my dad’s place, gotten a job mentoring a high school robotics team, watched a bunch of anime, read some books and AO3 fics that made me rethink a lot of things about myself, and started anxiety meds. That’s not in strictly linear order.

Moving out’s been a hell of an adventure. A friend of mine was looking for a roommate so they could finally move out of the dorms, and I took them up on the offer. I used to be out in one of the main suburbs of my city, but now I’m right downtown. It’s a little funny, they’re pretty quiet and reserved while I’m a Certified Yapper, but we work well as roommates. Even with the learning curve that comes from living on my own and near campus–I quickly realized it was a bad idea to go home in between classes and take a nap–it was pretty smooth, all things considered. I can actually hang out with friends on a whim now, and my grades have gone up since I’ve been able to lock in on studying for longer!

It’s kind of amazing what you can do when you’re no longer living with family members who seemingly exist just to press your buttons. My dad’s a fine guy when we’re texting each other cool tech stuff or cleaning out the gutters for my grampa, but we had long since hit the point where I needed to stop living with him. Also, he can’t clean for shit, and I despise that. I’m not a total clean freak, but my place has to be at least a little organized.

Thinking

I’m still on the adventure of trying to be more intentional about using my phone. I made a little pocket notebook and started carrying it around with me, which does help for making reminders and stuff without having to pull out my phone. I also bought a cheap Casio watch on eBay, since I missed the convenience of having a watch but didn’t want another screen in my life. I can’t say it’s turned me into a completely different type of person, but I’m running late a little less and I have a better sense of how long things will take to accomplish. For my fellow time-blind ADHDers out there, my advice is get a watch.

Ultimately, I think the issue is that a phone (and smart devices) are way too extensible. A good tool is like a chef’s knife: it does one thing, it does it well, but that one thing can be applied in a whole bunch of circumstances. A phone can do toooooons of stuff, which is absolutely an asset, but it also means that you can get stuck in the cycle of circling between a handful of different apps. Even a Swiss Army knife has a limit on how many things it can do. Having a dedicated non-phone option for things you want to check frequently, like the time, or pull out with a single purpose, like a notebook, absolutely helps with not getting sucked into something distracting. That way, you’re actively deciding that your phone is the correct tool for the job instead of pulling it out on instinct.

Watching

From the last few months, here’s my highlights:

• Godzilla Minus One. Glory is not dying in battle, but living to see tomorrow. Absolutely amazing film. I’m not a big Godzilla watcher, the only other one I’ve seen is Shin Godzilla, but this makes me want to dig through the series more. Super excited for Minus Zero, whenever it comes out.
• Sailor Moon. I’m following the “Reduced Filler” watchlist, and it’s proved to be a nice, fun, cozy watch. I actually just finished up the first season this morning, and it was great. I guess it’s nothing too groundbreaking, but also it kinda popularized the entire format of magical girls, so there’s probably a “Seinfeld Isn’t Funny” effect in play here. Still, the excellent characterization and really funny moments make it worth watching. Sailor Jupiter’s the best, and I am not taking any comments on it.
• Chainsaw Man Reze Arc. Holy SHIT this goes hard. There’s incredible fight scenes, a banger soundtrack, dudes rocking, and a very obliterable twink. It’ll put the most tear-jerker scenes back to back with the coolest fight ever. The only thing that makes it a touch less than perfect is that you really should have the wider context of Chainsaw Man going in; I knew the premise, but didn’t watch very far into it, and I was a little confused even though I knew who most of the characters are.
• The Muppets Christmas Carol. Ah, one of the all-time holiday greats. I’ve watched this movie most Christmases since middle school, and it gets me every single time. When the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come takes Scrooge to the Cratchit’s home and finds them mourning Tiny Tim? Seeing the cracks in Scrooge’s armor, how the realization dawns on him? That gets me. Thankful Heart into When Love Is Found might be one of the greatest finale musical numbers ever. I am, at my core, someone who adores a good story about the indomitable human spirit, whether it’s magical girls fighting the forces of evil or showing an evil capitalist the effects of his misdeeds.

Playing

Lots of Death Stranding Director’s Cut, although I personally like how Hideo Kojima calls it a “Director’s Plus” since it’s not really including scenes that were left on the cutting room floor. It’s Kojima on his bullshit again, and I buy into it hook, line, and sinker. I’ll never fault anyone for disliking it, but if you’re as much as a Kojima fan as I am, you’re gonna love it. Once again, I’m a sucker for stories about the indomitable human spirit. And, as a socialist organizer, there’s a lot I can see in here about meeting people where they are, extending a hand whether or not you’re getting something out of it, and the basic fact that none of us are supposed to do this alone. I forget the exact phrasing, but Fragile says something along the lines of “being alone is not much different than being dead”, and I try to keep that in my head when I’ve been holed up in my room working on something for too long.

Something I’ve been working on here and there is a little essay about ludocentrism and formalism in games. I follow a bunch of writers who have been talking about Horses lately, from both the censorship angle and the game analysis angle, and they’ve been rightfully dunking on some stodgy old academic dude for saying “Candy Crush is a more serious game than Horses.” Something about the idea that only gameplay matters just bugged me so much it propelled me to start writing about when narrative and gameplay elevates the experience to levels that either alone couldn’t reach. I’m a writer, so obviously I would object to narrative being discarded, but I also think it does such a disservice to the narrative power of video games. So, keep an eye out for that pretty soon, I’ll be uploading it on my blog here.